We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
