I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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