i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
