this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
