Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You pole danced in your parka.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Randomize