You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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