I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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