Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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