ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
