Three words: puerto rican gang bang
zippers are such a cool invention
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
