Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
