I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
