And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
