Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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