i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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