careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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