I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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