sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
