HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
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