you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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