hell yes lets make some ravioli
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
my being single is dangerous.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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