omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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