PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Randomize
