Small penises have feelings too.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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