I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize