The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Randomize
