We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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