I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
