Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
