So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Randomize
