Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
