I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
