This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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