So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
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