Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
My ATM looks so different sober.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
