I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
