i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
