I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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