I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
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