Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
