Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
