I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
