It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize