you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
