i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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