i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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