glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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