no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Randomize