it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Randomize
