just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
