STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
