There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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