all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
