Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
why do cheetos always look like penises
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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