there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
