I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
