She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
