Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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