It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Randomize