respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
i now understand why vodka
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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